In this article we focus on child custody law and the rights of children within a Thailand divorce. As always, nothing in this article is intended to provide legal advice. We strongly advise that you seek out and retain competent legal counsel for your legal matters.
While this is a legal article about child custody law, in fairness we need to first talk about how children suffer from the effects of divorce. We do this to encourage you not to fight over your children, to consider that your children have a right to a meaningful relationship with both parents, and to always think first of what is in your child’s best interest, both today and in the future.
Most people will agree that there is no more sensitive or emotional issue that one can face than a legal fight for their right to see and care for their children.
When parents are concerned about their ability to spend time with and care for their children during a divorce, legal wrangling can become quite intense.
One of the worst things that can happen is when an unscrupulous parent uses a child as a tool to punish the other spouse. This is one of the most heinous acts that can be perpetrated, but governments continue to allow it. Examples include:
Accusations of abuse. Withholding access to the children during periods of court ordered visitation. Speaking negatively about the other parent to or in front of the children. Making false accusations to obtain restraining orders, or leverage in the court.
In one of the longest divorce trials on record the wife accused her husband of abusing their child. His internet viewing history was presented as evidence of his predisposition to a perverted interest in minors. The individual websites were contacted and they reported the day and time the websites were viewed by his ISP. As it turns out the husband was outside of the country at the time the websites were viewed, and it was proven that the actual viewer of the websites was his wife. She attempted to frame him.
During an abuse investigation children are subjected to invasive medical exams and repeated psychological sessions that can actually result in the implanting of false memories, and leave emotional and psychological scars that may remain with and damage the child for life. The use of a child as a pawn of one parent to extract money or inflict pain in the other parent is child abuse. Sadly courts tolerate it, while some professionals feed on it and profit by encouraging conflict.
While abuse does take place, accusations of abuse during a contested divorce are often groundless. In almost all of these cases the person making the false accusation is never punished. While children should be shielded and protected from the manipulations of unscrupulous parents and so called professional, courts continue to just go along for the ride. Most good people understand that trauma and abuse of children can take many forms.
The Children’s Rights Council is an organization respected for reasonable thinking, as well as their great accomplishments in child welfare. The (CRC) was incorporated in 1985 to ensure that children have continuing meaningful interactions with both of their parents regardless of their parents’ marital status.
If you have children and if you ever find yourself going through a divorce, please take the time to read these books and ask your spouse to do the same. By reading “The Best Parent is Both Parents” you will understand why it is important for your children to have a meaningful relationship with your spouse even if you are not feeling very positive about your spouse at the time of your divorce.
“Surviving the Breakup” will educate you about the emotional and psychological impact of your divorce on your children. It will help you to understand what they are going through and the emotions they are feeling.
Child custody and the Thailand courts:
Thailand written law is remarkably brief with regard to the rights of parents and children when it comes to determining which parent will be awarded primary custody within the context of a contested divorce. As in other countries, a great deal of latitude must be given to judges to make decisions on a case by case basis.
As unfair as it may seem to loving and devoted fathers, the Thailand family court, like many courts in other parts of the world, has a predisposition towards awarding primary child custody to mothers. The courts allow witnesses to testify in favor of both mother and father with the intent of deciding placement with the best interest of the child in mind.
Maybe not so similar to other countries, in the Thailand family court, children of any age are given a voice as to which parent they would like to see awarded primary custody.
As one would assume Thai law does state that parents have the responsibility to provide proper maintenance and education for their children. Thai law also states that a non-custodial parent with limited parental rights and limited rights of visitation is not relieved from their duty to provide financial support to their child.
In practice it is uncommon for a Thailand family court to deny a parent access to their child unless there are extreme circumstances. Unfortunately, with the predisposition to award mothers sole physical custody, fathers are often only allowed access to their children as visitors on the weekends.
Parenting, resolving differences, and planning for your child’s future
It is vitally important to know that the example set by the parents will have a great impact both on life as a child, but also on patterning for how the child will resolve problems as an adult.
While the parents have major differences or obstacles between them such as matters of passion/ infidelity, financial upheaval, cultural incongruity or other irreconcilable differences, these problems between two agreeing adults should not be visited upon the child directly or via the fallout of a power struggle. Such would only develop more difficulty for the most innocent of people, children, and lead to regret for the parents.
Taking time to get professional counsel from both an interested attorney and also from involved counselors will give the parent more knowledge to better be able to cope with the changes ahead. Forging a new life situation for a child, with confidence, will give the child a much greater feeling of well being and confidence in the world.
What is important to your child’s development
For children the most vital things start with the basics, safety and health.
This can be and is often measured by the court in terms of the type of home/living space provided to the child, the job/income of each parent, and the support network of people living with or near the home.
Less measurable, yet recognized as vitally important is a child’s experience of love and social development. This quality of a child’s life may be ascertained by direct observation and interview of the child and each parent / home.
Other considerations include education and insurance, as the general standards of education will be a sounding board compared to the options available to the child with each parent/home.
It cannot be ignored also that a child’s overall sense of well being leads to a more solid character development. Parents who can give a child confidence building experiences give them the best footing for becoming effective adults.
The question of “which parent will have primary custody” can be decided either by the parents or by the court. What this means is that parents may negotiate an out-of-court agreement regarding the child’s living situation, schedule at home/visitation, educational plans, financial responsibility for the day to day and the greater needs of the child. If the parents are able to make such an agreement without the courts decision, they retain greater control over both present and future decisions to be made on behalf of their child (ren).
One of the blessings of living in Thailand is the ability of parents to use the district office to legally record a parenting agreement without the use of the courts.
If the parents are unable to make an agreement about custody and caretaking of a child, then the matter will be decided by a family court judge. The judge will base decisions on several formulaic factors, often relying on ‘expert’ testimony from professionals evaluators/psychologists, etc. The input of these professionals carries great weight as the court can lean upon their professionalism to mitigate the court’s stand alone responsibility. These professionals often make powerful recommendations based on interviews that took only a few hours yet will effect the entire outcome of a child’s life.
In order to avoid a one-size-fits- all plan for a child’s future that was subject to a standard set of considerations that the court applies to all children, parents can act on their child’s best behalf by setting aside conflict and taking time to outline a plan that only they could know best for their child’s future.
Not to be ignored are the preferences of the child, yet the child should never be put in a situation where they are forced to ‘decide’ which parent is better (de facto – who they “love more”), as this can lead to great feelings of inner conflict and irresolvable guilt within the child. Also, beyond the parents, the environment, including the home, community, and network of friends and family should be viewed as a vital part of planning a child’s best future. This becomes vitally important as a single parent faces the challenge of providing enough quality time for the child and needs the best possible support and assistance to do so.
Whether the custody decisions are made by the parents or the court, obtaining the input of professionals is essential. Even an out of court agreement should be drafted by a competent and involved attorney. This agreement should also then be witnessed (or filed) with the district office of the court.
The input of a professional will also allow parents to cover all bases (regarding a child’s life) and consider answers to questions they have not thought of. These can include present and future financial plans for the child, insurance, inheritance/retirement benefits, assets/assigning as an heir, obtaining and retaining vital documents such as medical history, national ID/pass, special needs of the child/family, and the unique characteristics of the child and how to best support these.
What is important to your child’s development?
For children the most vital things start with the basics, safety and health.
This can be and is often measured by the court in terms of the type of home/living space provided to the child, the job/income of each parent, and the support network of people living with or near the home.
Less measurable, yet recognized as vitally important is a child’s experience of love and social development. This quality of a child’s life may be ascertained by direct observation and interview of the child and each parent / home.
Other considerations include education and insurance, as the general standards of education will be a sounding board compared to the options available to the child with each parent/home.
It cannot be ignored also that a child’s overall sense of well being leads to a more solid character development. Parents who can give a child confidence building experiences give them the best footing for becoming effective adults.
The question of “which parent will have primary custody” can be decided either by the parents or by the court. What this means is that parents may negotiate an out-of-court agreement regarding the child’s living situation, schedule at home/visitation, educational plans, financial responsibility for the day to day and the greater needs of the child. If the parents are able to make such an agreement without the courts decision, they retain greater control over both present and future decisions to be made on behalf of their child (ren).
One of the blessings of living in Thailand is the ability of parents to use the district office to legally record a parenting agreement without the use of the courts.
If the parents are unable to make an agreement about custody and caretaking of a child, then the matter will be decided by a family court judge. The judge will base decisions on several formulaic factors, often relying on ‘expert’ testimony from professionals evaluators/psychologists, etc. The input of these professionals carries great weight as the court can lean upon their professionalism to mitigate the court’s stand alone responsibility. These professionals often make powerful recommendations based on interviews that took only a few hours yet will effect the entire outcome of a child’s life.
In order to avoid a one-size-fits- all plan for a child’s future that was subject to a standard set of considerations that the court applies to all children, parents can act on their child’s best behalf by setting aside conflict and taking time to outline a plan that only they could know best for their child’s future.
Not to be ignored are the preferences of the child, yet the child should never be put in a situation where they are forced to ‘decide’ which parent is better (de facto – who they “love more”), as this can lead to great feelings of inner conflict and irresolvable guilt within the child. Also, beyond the parents, the environment, including the home, community, and network of friends and family should be viewed as a vital part of planning a child’s best future. This becomes vitally important as a single parent faces the challenge of providing enough quality time for the child and needs the best possible support and assistance to do so.
Whether the custody decisions are made by the parents or the court, obtaining the input of professionals is essential. Even an out of court agreement should be drafted by a competent and involved attorney. This agreement should also then be witnessed (or filed) with the district office of the court.
The input of a professional will also allow parents to cover all bases (regarding a child’s life) and consider answers to questions they have not thought of. These can include present and future financial plans for the child, insurance, inheritance/retirement benefits, assets/assigning as an heir, obtaining and retaining vital documents such as medical history, national ID/pass, special needs of the child/family, and the unique characteristics of the child and how to best support these.
Child support payments, how much will you pay?
A recent article published by a English language Thai newspaper stated that approximate monthly payments due to a child and shared fifty/fifty by the parents would be: 1 child aged 1-10 years = 10,000 baht per month, 1 child aged 10-15 years = 15,000 baht per month, 1 child aged 15-20 years = 20,000 per month.
We are acquainted with a Thai man who is employed as a driver at a salary of 10,000 baht per month. He has three children aged 17, 15, and 6 years. Based on the above stated theory his fifty percent of the monthly child support payments would equal: 20,000 baht. As this amount is twice his salary there is clearly no way this scheme can work. The child support guidelines as stated in the recent newspaper article and above are erroneous.
The court will listen to a custodial parents request to award a specific amount of child support, however the court will base its award on the non-custodial parents income and ability to pay. Failure to pay court ordered child support can result in a garnishment of the non-custodial parent’s salary.